New Music: Lalah Hathaway "You Were Meant For Me"

I know I am a little late but I  recently heard this song and immediately fell in love with the lyrics. There is truly nothing like "real love" and if you have that, you know exactly what I mean.

This song goes out to all of the lovers and is dedicated to the man in my life!

You Were Meant For Me by Lalah Hathaway/Originally recorded by her father Donny Hathaway in 1978. This proves good music never gets old.

I'm Back!!!

Greetings Guys! I know it's been a minute since I've put up a new post but I'm back! It seems the ins and outs of everyday life and work has taken much of my time and I've sadly let my blog take a little break. The passion is definitely still in me. It's just a matter of figuring out hot topics to keep you guys interested and the time to pull it all together. My goal is to have a little something for everyone on this blog so your feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks to my loyal readers who've visited All Things Me... Melanie everyday looking for a new post. I won't let you guys down.

With kicking off the new year I would like to start Q&A type discussions. If there is anything that I am good at, it's giving advice. I would love to hear of the different situations and obstacles you may encounter that I'm able to share on my blog and offer advice as well as the advice through comments of readers of my blog. You never know who's going through something similar and could use a word of encouragement. Don't worry, you're name and info will be totally anonymous to readers so your business is safe. All subjects are acceptable so keep them coming.

Email your ideas or anything you would like to get advice on to me at allthingsmemelanie@yahoo.com and I will tastefully share it and my thoughts on the blog!

Thanks for the support!

War Of The Skin Tone. . . Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

If you’re African American you know that there has been a long standing rivalry of sorts between “light Skin” & “dark skin”. You’ve probably heard the jokes before regarding the different shades but what you never realize is how serious this stigma has become in today's society within the African American race. While listening to the radio yesterday morning I heard actor Bill Duke promote a play he will soon release titled “Dark Girls” A documentary about dark skinned prejudice and how it affects dark-skinned black women.

 I’ve actually had this conversation with “dark-skinned” friends before just to get their take on life and the issues surrounding their skin tone. Believe it or not they have many stories to tell of instances where they were treated differently or made to believe they were less adequate because of their dark skin. What’s more shocking is the comparison that is made between who is treated more fair-minded isn’t between the dark-skinned female and a white female, this time the comparison is made between dark-skinned females and light-skinned females both of the African American race. From TV commercials, news paper & magazine publications all the way down to the President of the United States. It is argued that dark-skinned people are still looked at negatively in society. I can remember when President Barack Obama was elected hearing “black” people say things like “if he were dark-skinned he wouldn’t have ever made it into the White House”. It used to bother me to hear things like this as that’s exactly the kind of talk that I feel continuously separates us but when I think about it more in depth I can definitely see the point. When you look at today’s media it does seem to be more of the lighter skinned African Americans with the most all around exposure. Music videos have been long criticized for omitting dark-skinned actresses and including only light-skinned women to enhance the fantasy surrounding the video.

 So where exactly did this battle of the skin tone begin? I would say early slavery. If you’ve ever heard stories of slavery you know the dark-skinned slaves were in the fields working while the light-skinned slaves were in the house tending the less abrasive household needs. I know you all have heard the term "house nigger". I would be willing to bet that this was the true beginning of the dilemma we're facing today. What’s truly disheartening and the question I ask is why are we (African American women) so easily pitted towards each other. In this situation it seems so clear and easy to discern that this so call difference is nothing more than an extension of the days of slavery when we were divided and conquered. I don't see the conflict in men nearly as much as it's seen in women. I personally know dark-skinned women who despise lighter skinned women. They feel light-skinned women feel entitled and always has the upper hand and hasn’t faced nearly the struggles as your average dark-skinned woman. As a light-skinned woman myself I can definitely attest to situations where I have been treated differently/better because of my skin tone so I know this issue to be true.

.

 While  because of my skin tone I've probably been on the nicer and more obliging end of the spectrum, I cannot be oblivious or take away from my dark-skinned sista’s who feel & know that they have been treated poorly for the shade of their skin. What we face now is nothing more than racism within the African American race.  I can remember being young and hearing the phrase "color struck" and I new exactly what it meant. Even now when visual test are done with young dark-skinned African American children you would be amazed at how they truly see themselves and if they had the choice the skin tone they would prefer. It's been a long standing thought that what's light/white is considered right.  Even within mating some (emphasis on some) black men look at the different shades of skin as the determining factor. Most dark-skinned women seem to feel like they are second choices to light-skinned women when courtship and relationships are involved. I know there are some shallow human beings living in this world and if you base your dealings with someone on the color or shade of their skin you have bigger issues to deal with like the fact that your ignorant but my argument to this sometimes lies on the difference between racial prejudice and a mature preference. Example: I am a light-skinned black female. I have dated guys of all skin tones but visually I am more attracted to dark-skinned men. It's not that I think any other skin tone is ugly or should be any less respected, I just like what I like. Does that mean I am a self hating sista or do I have the right to have a preference? Usually when it’s a woman who has a shade preference (within the black race) there’s not so much of an issue but lets change the story. I am a dark-skinned man who prefers light-skinned women. You know like I know all hell breaks loose, but why? As mature adults don’t we all have the right to have a preference without being accused of self hating or being color struck? Does having a skin tone preference always mean that there is a deeper underlying issue?

It’s hard to judge what’s right and what’s wrong in this situation but what I really wish black women would understand is this is not the time to hate your fellow sista for her skin tone. With all honestly I have never heard a light-skinned woman talk badly about a dark-skinned woman over skin tone. Some would say it's because we are always on the receiving and more accommodating end of the spectrum but in my experience It’s always the other way around (just my experience). During slavery we were intentionally divided so why is it in 2011 are we still allowing these same senseless divisions to rule our lives. It’s about embracing each other because at the end of the day we are BLACK and there is so much white/black racism that we are faced with on a day to day basis that it’s beyond ignorant that we are now struggling with racism in our own race? I don’t know how to break this cycle or change the brainless people surrounding us who do seem to feel one skin tone is more superior than another but I would be willing to bet it would be much easier to fight for change together as one race vs. falling into the trap of division and hating each other. It’s obvious that the division hasn’t given us any positive results thus far. I acknowledge these issues but I must admit in acknowledging that there is a issue and difference in treatment I sometimes feel as though I am acknowledging guilt for being me, a light-skinned woman. If you’re a dark-skinned woman that’s being treated unfairly because of your skin tone it doesn’t mean hate the next light-skinned woman or judge us all the same. In most cases we're not the problem. It’s the people who hold the control over whatever situation your involved in that should be held accountable. That’s where the real change should begin.

If you're in the Atlanta area you can check out Bill Duke's play at The Fabulous Fox Saturday November 19, 2011.

R.I.P. Heavy D

My heart dropped when I heard this news and I am still hoping it's just a vicious rumor. Reports have surfaced that Dwight Arrington Myers also known as legendary rapper Heavy D of Heavy D & The Boyz has passed away. He was 44 yrs old. Not many details have been released around the legends death but I will be sure to post updates as they are confirmed.

Check out one of my all time favorites of The Overweight Lover

Watch The Throne Hits Atlanta's Philips Arena

If you know me you know how much of a Jay-z fan I am. Since day one he has been my ultimate favorite and that hasn't waivered over the last 15 years. When Jay hits Atlanta I am usually there and this year was no different thanks to my hubby! I was able to attend Friday nights opener and it was history in the making. I've never seen Kanye perform live but it was truly an added pleasure. The concert indeed started late which didn't bother me one bit. My only thought was the later the concert starts the later it ends. I knew I was gonna get my moneys worth. Right before the first beat dropped I could see Beyonce emerge and take her seat in the VIP section of the arena. I knew then IT WAS ABOUT TO GO DOWN! 50 ft cubes began to rise from the ground with Jay posted up on one end of the arena and Kanye on the other. The music to HAM started to play and each artist did just that. The sides of the cubes were lit all around with video of sharks. I must say the visuals all night were nothing short of spectacular.

The remainder of the night consisted of the entire Watch The Throne album being performed as well as favorites from each artist. It was a friendly battle between brothers that proved again why they remain at the top of the rap game.

Kanye showed us that not only is he an accomplished rapper but he can also sing. He actually turned one of his hits into a love song and made all the lovers in the building snuggle up to their boos. He performed in what seemed to be a kilt (for a visual imagine a leather skirt). The unique mind of Kanye will never be figured out. Jay kept it cool as usual. That man has a way of painting a vivid picture with words. His talent is unmatchable and I will go toe to toe with anyone who says different. Listening to his songs take me back to different times and places in my life some good and some bad but all relevant. Throughout the 2 1 /2 hour show everyone stayed on their feet, dancing, singing and throwing up the ROC. At times Jay & Ye let us perform. Can you imagine a whole arena performing your song word for word. It had to be an awesome and accomplishing feeling for them both. We left voiceless but satisfied! If you've never been to a Jay-z & Kanye concert I suggest you make it happen. You'll be glad you did!

Kim Kardashian Calls It Quits & Files For Divorce!

I really want to give reality stars a fair chance but this is the kind of stuff that makes me look at them all with the side eye while secretly chanting the words "attention whore". Sooooo after being married for 72 days Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her NBA star husband Kris Humphries.  I'm pretty impartial to the Kardashian clan. If nothings on I will definitely watch their show but trust and believe it's a last resort. The parts of Kim's Fairytale Wedding special that I was able to see clearly showed two people with nothing in common who I questioned many times if love was even a factor. The $10 million wedding went off without a hitch but now it has all come to an end.

Word on the streets is Kim was determined to snag herself a basketball player and solicited the help of E! TV to seal the deal. E! TV allegedly called different players to play match maker for Kim and when other players like NY Knicks Danilo Gallinari didn't fall for the bait It was on to the next one. Who was next on their list might you ask? Take a guess, none other than Kris Humphries. It's funny because I recall Kim saying she met Humphries during a basketball game where she immediately found him to be attractive and was determined to get to know him better.

This takes pathetic to a whole other level. It amazes me what people will do for money, fame and exposure even if that exposure makes them look out of touch and stupid. What's the saying, any publicity is good publicity? I still beg to differ. I can get angry and wonder all day why people choose to make a mockery of what is supposed to be sacred but I am part of the reason they take extreme actions to get more and more attention. This article alone is feeding into that ego and before you know it, there's another reality show or spin off in the making. The more we want to know about these peoples lives the more relevant they become. Not because of anything more than ignorance and drama.

As much as it makes me sick, who am I fooling? I will be watching Basketball Wives tonight at 8pm.

New Music. . . . .Mary J. Blige- 25/8

Mary J. Blige dropped the new video for her blazing single 25/8 from her highly anticipated new album "My Life II: The Journey Continues (Act 1)". Through ups and downs Mary has continuously laced us with good music that touches your soul. At 40 years old she's still killing the game with female swag like no other. Mary's 10th studio album is scheduled for release November 21st.

Check out the latest video from The Queen of Hip Hop Soul- 25/8

If your in the Atlanta area you can catch Mary J. Blige in concert November 25th at the Tabernacle where she will perform her infamous 1994 Album "My Life" in its entirety!