New Music: Lalah Hathaway "You Were Meant For Me"

I know I am a little late but I  recently heard this song and immediately fell in love with the lyrics. There is truly nothing like "real love" and if you have that, you know exactly what I mean.

This song goes out to all of the lovers and is dedicated to the man in my life!

You Were Meant For Me by Lalah Hathaway/Originally recorded by her father Donny Hathaway in 1978. This proves good music never gets old.

I'm Back!!!

Greetings Guys! I know it's been a minute since I've put up a new post but I'm back! It seems the ins and outs of everyday life and work has taken much of my time and I've sadly let my blog take a little break. The passion is definitely still in me. It's just a matter of figuring out hot topics to keep you guys interested and the time to pull it all together. My goal is to have a little something for everyone on this blog so your feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks to my loyal readers who've visited All Things Me... Melanie everyday looking for a new post. I won't let you guys down.

With kicking off the new year I would like to start Q&A type discussions. If there is anything that I am good at, it's giving advice. I would love to hear of the different situations and obstacles you may encounter that I'm able to share on my blog and offer advice as well as the advice through comments of readers of my blog. You never know who's going through something similar and could use a word of encouragement. Don't worry, you're name and info will be totally anonymous to readers so your business is safe. All subjects are acceptable so keep them coming.

Email your ideas or anything you would like to get advice on to me at allthingsmemelanie@yahoo.com and I will tastefully share it and my thoughts on the blog!

Thanks for the support!

War Of The Skin Tone. . . Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

If you’re African American you know that there has been a long standing rivalry of sorts between “light Skin” & “dark skin”. You’ve probably heard the jokes before regarding the different shades but what you never realize is how serious this stigma has become in today's society within the African American race. While listening to the radio yesterday morning I heard actor Bill Duke promote a play he will soon release titled “Dark Girls” A documentary about dark skinned prejudice and how it affects dark-skinned black women.

 I’ve actually had this conversation with “dark-skinned” friends before just to get their take on life and the issues surrounding their skin tone. Believe it or not they have many stories to tell of instances where they were treated differently or made to believe they were less adequate because of their dark skin. What’s more shocking is the comparison that is made between who is treated more fair-minded isn’t between the dark-skinned female and a white female, this time the comparison is made between dark-skinned females and light-skinned females both of the African American race. From TV commercials, news paper & magazine publications all the way down to the President of the United States. It is argued that dark-skinned people are still looked at negatively in society. I can remember when President Barack Obama was elected hearing “black” people say things like “if he were dark-skinned he wouldn’t have ever made it into the White House”. It used to bother me to hear things like this as that’s exactly the kind of talk that I feel continuously separates us but when I think about it more in depth I can definitely see the point. When you look at today’s media it does seem to be more of the lighter skinned African Americans with the most all around exposure. Music videos have been long criticized for omitting dark-skinned actresses and including only light-skinned women to enhance the fantasy surrounding the video.

 So where exactly did this battle of the skin tone begin? I would say early slavery. If you’ve ever heard stories of slavery you know the dark-skinned slaves were in the fields working while the light-skinned slaves were in the house tending the less abrasive household needs. I know you all have heard the term "house nigger". I would be willing to bet that this was the true beginning of the dilemma we're facing today. What’s truly disheartening and the question I ask is why are we (African American women) so easily pitted towards each other. In this situation it seems so clear and easy to discern that this so call difference is nothing more than an extension of the days of slavery when we were divided and conquered. I don't see the conflict in men nearly as much as it's seen in women. I personally know dark-skinned women who despise lighter skinned women. They feel light-skinned women feel entitled and always has the upper hand and hasn’t faced nearly the struggles as your average dark-skinned woman. As a light-skinned woman myself I can definitely attest to situations where I have been treated differently/better because of my skin tone so I know this issue to be true.

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 While  because of my skin tone I've probably been on the nicer and more obliging end of the spectrum, I cannot be oblivious or take away from my dark-skinned sista’s who feel & know that they have been treated poorly for the shade of their skin. What we face now is nothing more than racism within the African American race.  I can remember being young and hearing the phrase "color struck" and I new exactly what it meant. Even now when visual test are done with young dark-skinned African American children you would be amazed at how they truly see themselves and if they had the choice the skin tone they would prefer. It's been a long standing thought that what's light/white is considered right.  Even within mating some (emphasis on some) black men look at the different shades of skin as the determining factor. Most dark-skinned women seem to feel like they are second choices to light-skinned women when courtship and relationships are involved. I know there are some shallow human beings living in this world and if you base your dealings with someone on the color or shade of their skin you have bigger issues to deal with like the fact that your ignorant but my argument to this sometimes lies on the difference between racial prejudice and a mature preference. Example: I am a light-skinned black female. I have dated guys of all skin tones but visually I am more attracted to dark-skinned men. It's not that I think any other skin tone is ugly or should be any less respected, I just like what I like. Does that mean I am a self hating sista or do I have the right to have a preference? Usually when it’s a woman who has a shade preference (within the black race) there’s not so much of an issue but lets change the story. I am a dark-skinned man who prefers light-skinned women. You know like I know all hell breaks loose, but why? As mature adults don’t we all have the right to have a preference without being accused of self hating or being color struck? Does having a skin tone preference always mean that there is a deeper underlying issue?

It’s hard to judge what’s right and what’s wrong in this situation but what I really wish black women would understand is this is not the time to hate your fellow sista for her skin tone. With all honestly I have never heard a light-skinned woman talk badly about a dark-skinned woman over skin tone. Some would say it's because we are always on the receiving and more accommodating end of the spectrum but in my experience It’s always the other way around (just my experience). During slavery we were intentionally divided so why is it in 2011 are we still allowing these same senseless divisions to rule our lives. It’s about embracing each other because at the end of the day we are BLACK and there is so much white/black racism that we are faced with on a day to day basis that it’s beyond ignorant that we are now struggling with racism in our own race? I don’t know how to break this cycle or change the brainless people surrounding us who do seem to feel one skin tone is more superior than another but I would be willing to bet it would be much easier to fight for change together as one race vs. falling into the trap of division and hating each other. It’s obvious that the division hasn’t given us any positive results thus far. I acknowledge these issues but I must admit in acknowledging that there is a issue and difference in treatment I sometimes feel as though I am acknowledging guilt for being me, a light-skinned woman. If you’re a dark-skinned woman that’s being treated unfairly because of your skin tone it doesn’t mean hate the next light-skinned woman or judge us all the same. In most cases we're not the problem. It’s the people who hold the control over whatever situation your involved in that should be held accountable. That’s where the real change should begin.

If you're in the Atlanta area you can check out Bill Duke's play at The Fabulous Fox Saturday November 19, 2011.

R.I.P. Heavy D

My heart dropped when I heard this news and I am still hoping it's just a vicious rumor. Reports have surfaced that Dwight Arrington Myers also known as legendary rapper Heavy D of Heavy D & The Boyz has passed away. He was 44 yrs old. Not many details have been released around the legends death but I will be sure to post updates as they are confirmed.

Check out one of my all time favorites of The Overweight Lover

Watch The Throne Hits Atlanta's Philips Arena

If you know me you know how much of a Jay-z fan I am. Since day one he has been my ultimate favorite and that hasn't waivered over the last 15 years. When Jay hits Atlanta I am usually there and this year was no different thanks to my hubby! I was able to attend Friday nights opener and it was history in the making. I've never seen Kanye perform live but it was truly an added pleasure. The concert indeed started late which didn't bother me one bit. My only thought was the later the concert starts the later it ends. I knew I was gonna get my moneys worth. Right before the first beat dropped I could see Beyonce emerge and take her seat in the VIP section of the arena. I knew then IT WAS ABOUT TO GO DOWN! 50 ft cubes began to rise from the ground with Jay posted up on one end of the arena and Kanye on the other. The music to HAM started to play and each artist did just that. The sides of the cubes were lit all around with video of sharks. I must say the visuals all night were nothing short of spectacular.

The remainder of the night consisted of the entire Watch The Throne album being performed as well as favorites from each artist. It was a friendly battle between brothers that proved again why they remain at the top of the rap game.

Kanye showed us that not only is he an accomplished rapper but he can also sing. He actually turned one of his hits into a love song and made all the lovers in the building snuggle up to their boos. He performed in what seemed to be a kilt (for a visual imagine a leather skirt). The unique mind of Kanye will never be figured out. Jay kept it cool as usual. That man has a way of painting a vivid picture with words. His talent is unmatchable and I will go toe to toe with anyone who says different. Listening to his songs take me back to different times and places in my life some good and some bad but all relevant. Throughout the 2 1 /2 hour show everyone stayed on their feet, dancing, singing and throwing up the ROC. At times Jay & Ye let us perform. Can you imagine a whole arena performing your song word for word. It had to be an awesome and accomplishing feeling for them both. We left voiceless but satisfied! If you've never been to a Jay-z & Kanye concert I suggest you make it happen. You'll be glad you did!

Kim Kardashian Calls It Quits & Files For Divorce!

I really want to give reality stars a fair chance but this is the kind of stuff that makes me look at them all with the side eye while secretly chanting the words "attention whore". Sooooo after being married for 72 days Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her NBA star husband Kris Humphries.  I'm pretty impartial to the Kardashian clan. If nothings on I will definitely watch their show but trust and believe it's a last resort. The parts of Kim's Fairytale Wedding special that I was able to see clearly showed two people with nothing in common who I questioned many times if love was even a factor. The $10 million wedding went off without a hitch but now it has all come to an end.

Word on the streets is Kim was determined to snag herself a basketball player and solicited the help of E! TV to seal the deal. E! TV allegedly called different players to play match maker for Kim and when other players like NY Knicks Danilo Gallinari didn't fall for the bait It was on to the next one. Who was next on their list might you ask? Take a guess, none other than Kris Humphries. It's funny because I recall Kim saying she met Humphries during a basketball game where she immediately found him to be attractive and was determined to get to know him better.

This takes pathetic to a whole other level. It amazes me what people will do for money, fame and exposure even if that exposure makes them look out of touch and stupid. What's the saying, any publicity is good publicity? I still beg to differ. I can get angry and wonder all day why people choose to make a mockery of what is supposed to be sacred but I am part of the reason they take extreme actions to get more and more attention. This article alone is feeding into that ego and before you know it, there's another reality show or spin off in the making. The more we want to know about these peoples lives the more relevant they become. Not because of anything more than ignorance and drama.

As much as it makes me sick, who am I fooling? I will be watching Basketball Wives tonight at 8pm.

New Music. . . . .Mary J. Blige- 25/8

Mary J. Blige dropped the new video for her blazing single 25/8 from her highly anticipated new album "My Life II: The Journey Continues (Act 1)". Through ups and downs Mary has continuously laced us with good music that touches your soul. At 40 years old she's still killing the game with female swag like no other. Mary's 10th studio album is scheduled for release November 21st.

Check out the latest video from The Queen of Hip Hop Soul- 25/8

If your in the Atlanta area you can catch Mary J. Blige in concert November 25th at the Tabernacle where she will perform her infamous 1994 Album "My Life" in its entirety!

The Price of Poor Customer Service

This subject is very dear to me. My job deals heavily with customer service and I pride myself on making my clients feel as if they've made the right choice allowing me to service their needs. It really shouldn't be any other way taking into consideration that I get a paycheck for doing so. This day in age customer service has become a thing of the past. At first I thought it was only fast food restaurants and grocery stores who had this issue. You walk to the register and the employee doesn't have the decency to greet you, they are chewing gum in your face, joking with their peers, texting on their phones and to top it off there's no "thank you" at the end of your transaction- the same transaction that keeps their place of employment in business and puts money in their pockets.

I've found now that large scaled companies and government institutions are suffering from this same dilemma. Has anyone dealt with a government institution lately? They are the most unaccommodating people ever. It's a disgrace and frustrating on a deeper level because people in these positions can easily cause serious problems in your day to day dealings.

I often wonder why are these idiots still employed. There are millions of people in need of work who would love to step into these positions and do the job that's expected. For the most part we feel we have no control over these rude ungrateful people but we actually hold more power than we think. How many times have you left a place of business or ended a phone call where  you've felt you haven't been given the service you deserved? You talk about it with your spouse and friends but it usually ends there. This is not the time to be passive. These people are making money that they don't deserve from our services and at the very least management needs to be made aware of any and every situation that has left you unsatisfied. We have to start bringing management into play and if they are just as ignorant as their employees (which I find is often) get in contact with corporate headquarters. Most importantly if you can't get the service you deserve find a better establishment.

My goal is to call these people out every chance I get in hopes that the person who really deserves the job is given the opportunity to service me. Our hard earned money is too valuable to be wasted on mediocre service.

Everyday isn't a easy day and I will be the first to admit some days are hard. You deal with issues in your personal life that can easily dictate how your day at work proceeds but you have to remember what you're there for and remember the check that you get to perform a service. In this economy if that's not enough to change a persons perspective on taking pride in their work/position I am not sure what will.


True story, my niece went missing for close to an hour last week. My family searched the neighborhood knocking on doors in an effort to find her. When that didn't work they decided to call 911. While explaining to the 911 operator (who answered the phone giggling) that my niece was missing, my sister was placed on hold twice by the dispatcher but not a muted hold. This was a "hold on" where you could still hear everything that was going on in the background of the phone call. Needless to say whatever was so funny to the operator when she answered my sisters call caused her to stop taking the missing person information to continue her chit chat and laughter with a co worker. Excuse me? There is a mother on the line crying and explaining that her daughter is missing and the compassion you show is placing her on hold twice and laughing in the background with your co workers. Not only does she deserve to lose her job but she also needs her butt kicked. I don't condone violence but I'm just speaking the truth. Sadly, my sister didn't file a complaint and Ms. Giggly still has a job.

Final thought: If you have a job where you choose not to perform to a level of excellence take your incompetence to your home! That's the only place where it should be accepted!

Nicki Minaj Channels Her Inner Lil Wayne= The Female Weezy

This is absolutely hilarious. If you've ever watched Lil Wayne during an interview and when it's over you're completely confused and feel like you've drank some of what he drinks in that cup he carries, well the below video proves you're not the only one. Nicki Minaj gives a stellar impersonation of Weezy on set of Birdman's Y.U.Mad video.

Would You Take Relationship Advice From TI & Tiny?

I guess that jail time education has paid off for Clifford "T.I." Harris. The rapper released his first novel today "Power and Beauty" with plans to release two sequels and a relationship book with his wife Tameka 'Tiny" Cottle.

T.I. tells XXL,

"We’re right at the end of Power & Beauty II right now. We’re trying to figure out how to end two and begin three."

"Tameka and I, we looking to do a his-and-her relationship book; how to get right and keep it tight."

I guess they would know how to "keep it tight" as many bids as he's done in jail with Tiny staying true as his ride or die chick!

 I can't say I will be purchasing any of the novels but I wish them the best nonetheless.

Giuliana Rancic Diagnosed With Breast Cancer

Giuliana Rancic visited NBC's "Today" show yesterday where she opened up about recently being diagnosed with breast cancer. I regularly watch Giuliana on her reality series Giuliana and Bill where her life with husband Bill Rancic (Apprentice winner) is documented and shared with the world. On recent episodes of the reality series fans have been able to see the up close and personal struggles the couple encounters while trying to have a baby.

The season 4 finale of Giuliana and Bill aired days ago with the optimistic couple undergoing a third round of In vitro. While fans eagerly awaited news of IVF success, Giuliana reveals, that success will now have to be put on hold due to her cancer diagnosis.

Giuliana explains,

“I wasn’t prepared to get a mammogram until I was 40 years old, like I’d been told. I never in my wildest dreams expected anything to be wrong. It was just a kick in the stomach.”

Recalling the moment she found out, Rancic said,

 “I went into the hospital in L.A., when they came in to tell me, they said it pretty quickly, they just said, ‘I’m sorry, you have breast cancer. It’s what you expect. but so much more, it was like, incredible instant sobbing and the world just crashed down around me. I couldn’t believe it – 36 years old, no family history? I couldn’t believe it.”

The great news is doctors are optimistic and foresee a full recovery for Giuliana. Surgery is scheduled for later this week with 6 weeks of radiation to follow. When asked if this would permanently halt her plans to have a baby the star confirms,

“I still want this baby because this baby has saved my life. I truly feel God was looking out after me.  If I had gotten pregnant later down the line, I could have been a lot sicker.”

My heart truly goes out to this couple. I know the breast cancer diagnosis along with the many failed attempts to conceive a child is enough to make anyone question their faith but I am so happy that Giuliana is able to remain hopeful in her efforts to one day become a mom.

He's Lying To You, Ladies Stop Falling For The Okie-Doke

My grandmother always told me "when someone shows you who they are BELIEVE them". Even after being on this earth 32 years I, just like many other women have at some point found this hard to achieve especially when dealing with relationships and the men in our lives. It's as if we lose our grasp of reality and turn into oblivious fools. The signs are there screaming to our conscious but we continue to question reasons behind a mans clear actions.

Why are women so easily guided by words vs. actions? As insane as it seems we've all been there a time or two or three. We continuously sabotage ourselves into believing the fairytale that we want our lives to be vs. the truth that we're living. When it's all over we find ourselves years down the line in relationships that are unfulfilling and likely unhealthy. From there it's all a pity party but we can only blame ourselves.

It's time for women to realize that life is way too short and your time is far too precious to waste on someone who can talk a good game day in and day out but can never follow it up with true action. It's the typical okie-doke. You hope and pray things will change and even when they don't you stay longer and hope and pray some more. At some point even god is looking at you with the side eye.

If you find yourself in one of these situations don't let it take endless instances for you to get the point. If you pay attention the signs will present themselves early on. Smarten up ladies and stop making excuses for the obvious. In most cases and in my opinion when you see the signs it's time to chunk the deuces but if you decide to stay it's very necessary that you quickly adjust your expectations and learn how to deal with this person based on how you're being treated.  Stop giving your all to someone who's not mature enough to even reciprocate the effort of giving you his all back.

Remember a person will only do to you what you allow. Women will easily put a mans needs before their own but in this case strive to keep your needs at the forefront. When you make it clear how important you and your needs are a real man won't have any issues following suite. You have to know and understand your worth.

Desperation can quickly lead to irrational behavior so don't let fear of not having a man or ending a relationship corner you into changing who you are and the level respect you expect from a partner. In most cases the standard in which you start a relationship is the standard upheld throughout the relationship and once you allow certain things to take place it can be very difficult to demand anything different.

I know everyone wants love but it has to make sense ladies and it's not just something you want to give to a person that clearly doesn't deserve it!

BET Hip Hop Awards 2011 = A BUST!

I'm guilty! I know I said I wouldn't waste my time watching the BET Hip Hop Awards this year but nothing else was on the tube so I tuned in. I must say it was the most boring awards I've ever seen. Even Mike Epps lacked funniness. I will say the cyphers were wonderful however where I'm from a cypher is considered a raw freestyling battle. It was beyond obvious that everyone's rhymes were established before the show which totally took away from all of the hype. None of the A-list stars came out to support the awards this year and while the show was indeed lackluster I found it to be far less ignorant than the norm. Isn't that a sad statement? Shame on me.

Out of all of the performances one did seem to keep my attention. Wiz Khalifa performed "Taylor Gang". Sadly I couldn't understand one word of his performance and I just had to google the title of the song to include it in this post, but his choreography was awesome! It reminded me much of the dances we see Africans perform during rituals.

Now wait a minute, did he copy African choreography for his BET performance? That is blatant plagiarism. He is something else (Kevin Hart voice).

Anyway see it for yourself in the video below of Wiz's "Taylor Gang" performance last night.

Taraji P. Henson & Tyrese Gibson To Reunite On The Big Screen

Am I the only one who has watched Baby Boy a million times and still can't seem to turn away when it's playing on BET? Well Yvette & Jody, I mean Taraji and Tyrese will be hitting the big screen again. While full details of the film have not been released Tyrese has confirmed that this movie will not be a sequel to Baby Boy! John Singleton will be putting his directing skills to work on this film as well.

If Taraji's starring, I'm watching - so I will definitely be checking this one out when it hits theaters. In the meantime check out Tyrese's new single "Stay" that also features Taraji as his love interest. They should just go ahead and hook up!

Inspiration or Plain Old Plagiarism

My girl Beyonce is again being ousted for copying and pasting (I just had to use that) choreography from a Belgian choreographer. Beyonce's latest video for her new single "Countdown" hit the net last week and fans were overjoyed but that joy is now being overshadowed amid allegations of plagiarism.

Choreographer Anne Teresa Keersmaeker interviewed with a Belgian radio station where when asked how she felt about her choreography being the inspiration behind Bey's new video she responded,

 " I didn’t know anything about this. I’m not mad, but this is plagiarism. This is stealing. They took pieces from Achterland and Rosas danst Rosas. Including the dresses and a remake of the school of Van de Velde. It’s a bit rude, I must say. What’s rude about it is that they don’t even bother about hiding it. They seem to think they could do it because it’s a famous work.”

“Am I honoured? Look, I’ve seen local school kids doing this. That’s a lot more beautiful.”

Let me start by saying I like Beyonce. It's safe to call me a fan. I think she gets the brunt of so much unnecessary hate and ridicule that it's almost sickening. I read lots of blogs and the comments on a typical Bey post are horrendous but I will touch on that another time. With regard to her stealing choreography, are we seriously gonna continue to take it there? I watched the video last week and read an article where the director of the video, Adria Petty, revealed even before the release that she received inspiration from a German choreographer and that she and Bey made the selections for the video together. So is this inspiration or plagiarism? If we consider this plagiarism I think we all have a lot of explaining to do. The cars we drive, the clothes we wear, every part of our lives can be considered plagiarized. We didn't invent any of this stuff. I'm sure Bey's big bank roll is the utmost reason for the many allegations and I'm thinking moving forward whenever Bey shoots a video she should have a press conference confirming where she got her every move. Oh by the way, can someone tell me who invented the running man? Also, not to throw shade but if Bey is being accused of choreography plagiarism Ciara owes some local strippers homage asap!

In my opinion half of these people accusing Bey of copying their work should feel rather honored. At some point something or someone had to have inspired them as well. With Beyonce's large fan base she is merely introducing us to some of these great artist we wouldn't have likely ever known. I know I've never heard of Anne Teresa Keersmaeker before today. What about you?

Can Beyonce catch a break and will the people criticizing her every move GET A LIFE!

Diggy Simmons Says NO To Profanity

Well isn't this a breath of fresh air. Recently Diggy Simmons, son of legendary hip hop artist Rev Run of Run-DMC, spoke to a local radio station about his music and why he chooses not to use profanity in his lyrics.

Diggy says,

“When people hear me say certain types of things, they say, I wonder what Rev would think. I wouldn’t say anything in the first place that would be shameful to my family anyway, but I am me at the end of the day. That’s not even me trying to be clean. I don’t need it, I don’t need to curse in my rhymes or in any of my songs. Honestly, I haven’t really sat down and said, when I’m older I’m gonna curse or when I’m older, I’m not, but I don’t see myself cursing anytime soon. I don’t think I should ever use it, honestly. I guess I’m making the decision now, I’m never gonna curse. There’s no point."

I applaud Diggy for not falling victim to the pressures that often surround being a successful rap artist. I hope he continues on this path of "positive" music and I pray that listeners don't underestimate his talents just because his rhymes aren't laced with profanity.


Check out Diggy's hit "Copy, Paste" below.

I'm loving it!

Tough Love Or Child Abuse?

The Internet has been buzzing with a video showing a father taking what some feel are drastic measures to discipline his young son. The story was featured days ago on worldstarhiphop.com where Devery Michael Broox submitted a video tape of himself and the discipline tactics used on the child for allegedly acting out in school and disrespecting adults. The three steps Broox used are now being considered abuse vs. healthy discipline . He started with shaving the boys head, followed by whipping him with a belt and lastly he made the child run laps and perform push ups. The video was released weeks ago however on September 26, Broox was arrested after Florida Child Services saw the video and alerted the local authorities. Today news broke that Broox as it turns out is not the child's biological father and is merely a "mentor" of sorts. The child's grandmother is said to have asked Broox to step in as the child's mentor assuming she could not get the young boy on the right track. While in the presence of the authorities the child explained to police that Broox whips him all of the time and asked him to lie about the whippings so he wouldn't go to jail.

Click the link below to see the video. Please beware, the language is a little harsh but it's nothing you haven't heard before:
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhMy34aJhp049y5UAO


Call me a tough lover because I can't find too much I disagree with on this video besides the use of harsh language. My mom never cut my hair but I did get my butt whipped when I acted out which seems to have been everyday of my life. Back then it was like the end of the world for me but today I can appreciate those whippings because I do believe they made me a better person. Things were mild when I was coming up but lets fast forward to current day 2011. Young adults are totally out of control. We see it everyday on the news, the fighting, killing, bullying, disrespect and the list goes on. The first thing we say when we see these kids going down the wrong path is "where are their parents". Well here's a parent/mentor that's taking steps to get and keep this child on the right track and now he's being faced with the scrutiny of child abuse. Clearly in the video Broox explains that this is not the first time discipline has been needed to correct the young boy from acting out in school. It seems there is already a level or repetitiveness and that's a serious problem. In most cases that's the largest part of the problem, children don't fear anything and anyone anymore.

In this case the child is now in the custody of the Florida Child Services and Broox is now in police custody for his actions, but isn't it ironic that this is the same law enforcement that could possibly be putting this young boy- turn teen- turn adult behind bars while questioning all along why the child had no guidance growing up? I think it's a double standard to say the least but hey, I guess in 2011 it's abuse to whip a child. My mom would be under the jail right now had she faced the same scrutiny. Hair grows back, the sting from a whipping doesn't last long and exercise is good for us all. Team tough love!

Are Black Women Settling For Black Men?

In a day where interracial dating has become more and more popular you would be amazed at how many black women are still skeptical about stepping outside of their race to find love. There are so many questions that come into play, some that I've heard personally from friends who've attempted dating outside of their race. "Will I be labeled a sellout", "how will our kids be raised if we choose to have them" (will they be labeled black or white), "what if my white spouse can't relate to the everday black struggles that I'm faced with", and the list goes on and on. Meanwhile many of the women who have played into these assumptions remain single or loyal to black men who in some cases don't meet their needs or expectations and will possibly never take that walk down the isle. The question that has been raised is "Is Marriage For White People". The controversial new book by Author Ralph Richard Banks suggest that "interracial marriage may be a solution for middle-class African-American women who can’t find a suitable black husband". When I first read the article my heart was a little crushed. Growing up in a black household there was always this level of loyalty a black woman was to have to a black man. It's just a "black thing" but has this same loyalty left the black woman loveless? After reading more of the article I found that I agreed with bits of the authors views. Why should successful black women or any black woman for that matter settle for less in a mate for the sake of race? I know it's not a guarantee that if you engage in an interracial relationship that it will last forever however most black women today feel hopeless when it comes to finding a "successful" black man. Most of my friends in the dating game feel that black men are still aiming to be players and don't want to settle down. Black men claim that black women are too self absorbed and materialistic. The funny thing is black men have no qualms about dating outside of their race so again who's left out? The black woman. While I think interracial dating is a great idea to more possibilities of finding true love I also think there are other issues surrounding "some" black women that hinders their possibility of finding the successful black man that their looking for. I think in a lot of cases "successful black women" have become out of touch with the needs of a man. A man has to feel like he's a man as cliché as it may sound. He has to feel wanted and needed. I had to learn this the hard way in my own marriage. When a man doesn't feel wanted and needed he won't stick around. Can you blame him? It doesn't mean bow down to this mans every egotistical need but there has to be healthy balance. Sometimes woman take their "success" to an uncompromising level "I don't need a man", "I can do this on my own" etc. When I hear statements like this I know I am listening to a woman that's been severely hurt and no longer knows how to let her guard down or be a real partner. It's a lose lose situation no matter who she dates. A strong man can't and won't deal with that type of attitude and a meeker and milder guy will likely get run over and taken for granted by a women who has those views. I know the numbers may be declining but I for one still believe there are some good black men out there. Do I oppose interracial dating? Absolutely not. I am the first person to tell you to go for it. Love has no color. Your happiness is what means the most. The bottom line is within any courtship, relationship and marriage an open mind is imperative. Take the time to truly learn yourself and you will hopefully attract more of what you're looking for in a partner regardless of race. Also remember we get hung up on the word success a lot. Everyone wants it but success does not equal happiness. People working everyday jobs are no less successful than someone with a degree. When you broaden your view of people as a whole you'll be amazed at what shines through about a person. You're definition of success may change. You may just find your life partner and embark on a lasting relationship.

Diddy Loses His Cool. . .Blame It On The Ciroc!

Just when you think the BET Hip Hop Awards were a success minus the drama, Diddy steps in to bring us back to reality. Well we can't really blame this one on the awards show as it all went down last night at an after party at the infamous Compound. Video below shows Diddy getting the crowd hype when he gets pissy with Kenny Burns of V103 and his entourage for drinking Grey Goose. Diddy in true Diddy fashion throws a drink and the drama ensues.


Take a look below.

For real Diddy? This is how you're gonna respond to people drinking beverages outside of your beloved Ciroc! In my Flavor Flav voice . . . Wooooooooow. Did you see T.I. proclaim his innocence during the altercation? That was pure comedy! 

BET Hip Hop Awards 2011

Well by now you've heard the BET Hip Hop Awards were taped here last night at the Boisfeuillet Jones Atlanta Civic Center. My husband told me a few days ago a friend of his won free tickets to the show and my response was "she should give those tickets back"! I have tried every year to support the Hip Hop Awards but this year I just can't do it. First of all as a true hip hop head it's very hard for me to consider any of today's "rappers" as true hip hop artist. Maybe a few but the list is minimal. Living here in Atlanta we're sadley subjected to the same ATL breed artist that seem to boast the same beats and lyrics (strip club music) leaving me sick and tired of what listening to local radio stations have to offer. I mean after a few drinks it's ok and I'm even chanting some of the lyrics myself but nothing and I mean nothing about this music screams buy my CD and add it to your hip hop collection.

To all my true "hip hop heads" this one is for you. Quite frankly I've had (today's rap) it up to here = Queen Latifah style:

The BET Hip Hop Awards will air Tuesday October 11, 8/7c on BET.

Jay-Z Gives Back "Making The Ordinary Extraordinary" Charity Event

Jay-Z recently held a carnival themed fundraiser for his "Shawn Carter Scholarship Fund" currently being run by his mother Gloria Carter pictured with him above. The $1,000 per person affair was held at NYC's Pier 54 and boasted of authentic carnival games, rides, food and prizes. The "carnival with a flair" included gourmet foods and the prizes including things like Gibson guitars, Nets tickets, Hublot watches and an autograph bottle of Ace Of Spades. One lucky contest winner drove home in a new Chrysler 300!

The Shawn Carter Foundation was founded in 2002 to assist those seeking a higher education that don't have the financial means. Since starting the foundation over 750 students have received awards in excess of $1.1 million.

Proceeds from the successful event "Making The Ordinary Extraordinary" went to benefit the scholarship fund.

You got to love a man who gives back!

Kandi Lands Her Own Show

Boy oh boy, reality TV just doesn't stop. Kandi Burruss of The Real Housewives of Atlanta has landed her own show.

Bravo released the following statement:

With her breakout personality and straightforward attitude, Bravo fans have grown to love Kandi on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The Kandi Factory will capture a unique look at her successful music career as Kandi transforms two music hopefuls into the next big pop star.

I guess you can't knock the hustle. Congrats Kandi! 

Touré'sTyler Perry Tirade

VS.



Add journalist, author and cultural critic Touré to the list of people unhappy with Tyler Perry and his film making skills. Touré has blasted Perry saying,

 "He’s celebrating a certain victim hood and telling Black women that it’s okay to feel like a victim and to wallow in the pain of your life,” he said, adding, “It’s like cinematic malt liquor for the masses"

I have encountered this same argument with many of my family and friends. Not only do they feel Perry's movies are a set back to the black community but they also feel that his movie's are redundant. Perry has also come under fire by producer Spike Lee for the same reasons. I admit the dynamics of a Tyler Perry film are pretty much the same but to accuse his films of being a set back to the black community is reaching. I've seen all of Perry's films and I feel that some if not most of the characters are in many ways relatable to the black community. There is usually a religious undertone of sorts that always speaks volumes to having faith in god and that is huge in most black households. The endings can be typical but are always positive. Overall I can appreciate what he brings to the table as a writer and producer. His personal story of struggle is heart wrenching and he's said many times his inspiration comes from his past. My question is why do people insist that this man change his craft? As large as the movie making market is, why aren't other writers and directors filling the void and presenting us with other options? The blame is continuously put on Perry to change this so called plague- and to do this would mean changing his craft. Is this fair to him?

Perry obviously doesn't let the critique slow him down and his success is evident at the box office. If people like Touré and Spike Lee think that Tyler Perry films are coonery and buffoonery what do they possibly think about us- the people that support & go out to see them? Do they think Tyler Perry has brainwashed us to believe his work is truly quality or can they accept that Perry has filled a niche that many Americans black and white find truly enjoyable.

It's ok to have a preference as we all do. I respect people for knowing what they like and what they don't like. What I can't understand is why it's so hard for people to give credit when credit is due and understand that credit can be given regardless of preference. I applaud Tyler for his work in the film industry and will continue to support him and his craft.

Tyler's upcoming film Good Deeds is scheduled for a 2012 release.

DMX Releases New Video

Fresh out of the slammer, X is back! Troubled rapper DMX has released a new video titled "Last Hope". I got to admit I was feeling this track. Is the old DMX back?

If we see Frankie in the video doing the "Frankie Leg" we know somethings wrong.  Just kidding, we wish DMX the best!

Hip Hop Pioneer Sylvia Robinson Passes

Sylvia Robinson affectionately known as the "Mother of Hip Hop" has passed away. She was 75.  A true hip hop pioneer, she and her husband Joe Robinson, formed Sugar Hill Records in 1979 to usher in the rap era. She was also a noted singer with several hits under her belt. Her most noted work was the production of Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” and Grand Master Flash & the Furious Five’s “The Message” that have become hip hop classics.

Robinson passed away today in New Jersey from congestive heart failure.

Check out one of Sylvia's popular hits "Pillow Talk"

Tyrese kicked out of Delaware Radio Station

Tyrese tweeted earlier today that he was kicked out of a Delaware radio station for voicing his opinion of a liquor store being across the street from an elementary school. His opinion obviously didn't sit well with the program director as Tyrese says he was booted from the radio station and his interview will be erased.

Check out Tyrese's tweets below:




 





Seriously, is this what happens when we voice our opinion regarding the upkeep and integrity of our communities? I guess in Delaware all Tyrese is good for is his latest single.

Tia & Tamera To Reunite On "The Game"

Sisters Tia Hardrict & Tamera Housley

Our favorite "twin" sisters have been taking the world by storm! Their new reality show Tia and Tamera has been a success and has been renewed for a second season! Just off the brinks of a new marriage for Tamera and a new baby for Tia, these ladies have given us a peak into their lives both professionally and personally. While Tamera has been settling into married life and contemplating returning to the screen, Tia has been juggling the life of motherhood and preparing to tape new episodes of the highly anticipated hit show The Game!

While chatting with TV Guide Tia revealed that the sisters will reunite on new episodes of BET's The Game.

“They’ve been trying to find a way to bring her on organically and the way [she guest-stars], it’s hysterical,” said Tia.

The new season of The Game is set to kick off January 2012. You can catch the ladies on the season finale of their reality show Tia and Tamera on Monday October 3rd at 10pm on Style.

Tia poses with her beautiful bundle of joy Cree Taylor Hardrict.

Atlanta's 3rd Annual BAR-B-Q Festival

If you're an Atlanta resident or visiting the area this weekend and looking for tasty fun check out the 3rd annual Atlanta BAR-B-Q Festival kicking off at Atlantic Station Friday September 30th. This is a family friendly event that everyone is sure to love. There will be over 40 BBQ teams, live entertainment as well as kid friendly events.

Tickets are $6 in advance and $10 the day of the show.

Come out and enjoy some Atlanta fun!

For more information please visit www.atlbbqfest.com

No Justice No Peace.....

In light of the recent Troy A. Davis execution the NAACP has pledged to make effort to end the death penalty in the United States. Almost a week later and Americans are still outraged at the blatant injustice we witnessed last week when what was possibly an innocent man faced execution for a crime many wonder if he really committed. For me this case was a wake up call. Anyone of us could've been in Troy's shoes and it's frightening to say the least. I looked at the world we live in and the the justice system we're supposed to trust with new meaning and much doubt. I don't know if Troy Davis was innocent or guilty but anyone who has followed this case could clearly see the doubt surrounding his possible guilt. I've spoken to friends about this situation and it seems I for one stand alone in my thoughts of abolishing the death penalty. Many seem to think I would have a different perspective if a friend or family member were the victims of a murder where the death penalty for the guilty was available. I think not. I've always looked at the death penalty as disrespect to the will of god. It's easy for us to tell someone they can't commit a murder but when the justice system feels it's adequate they can take a life. I do know  I could never work in a prison or be a part of the executing process under any circumstances. It seems so hypocritical. While we can't bring Troy back we can fight for other possibly innocent inmates who will soon face the fate of execution.

Is executing a factually known murderer worth the lives of many others who are possibly innocent? Isn't one innocent man dead one too many?

If you would like to sign the pledge to end the death penalty please visit www.naacp.org.

Basketball Wives LA Recap

   

I've just  finished indulging in my guilty pleasure of drama filled reality TV with an all new episode of Basketball Wives LA. While each show leaves me wanting more I can't help but notice the strong resemblance between the LA wives and the Miami wives (if it's ok to call them wives). It's full of fighting, chaos and friction which leads me to wonder if it's possible to have a successful reality show minus all of the drama?

I've noticed for the second week in a row Tonya Williams has been missing. Although I did find her to be a little odd at times I think she was indeed the balance the show needed. I read an interview recently where she explained she didn't know why she had been cut from so much of the footage and that VH1 has plenty footage of her but for some reason it hasn't been shown. From the looks of it she's been erased from the lineup all together which is pretty sad. Tonya has been an advocate against domestic abuse and wanted to share her stories to inspire others who may be in her situation to seek help. Sadly it doesn't look like she or her advocacy will make the cut.

Is this our fate where we have no room at all for a positive force on reality TV? As entertaining as these shows can be I must say parts of me feel totally embarrassed at the portrayal and unbalance. Do you think this negative portrayal hurts us far more than the enjoyment of what we feel is a little entertainment? Is this really reality?

President Obama's Answer to Black America

President Obama tells blacks America at the Congressional Black Caucus dinner on Saturday to quit crying and complaining and "put on your marching shoes" to follow him into battle for jobs and opportunity. With the 2012 elections coming soon, the president has stepped out to stress the new "Jobs Bill" that he has presented to congress for passing. The $447 billion bill was sent to congress days ago with the presidents request to law makers to "pass the bill immediately". The president explains, "This is a bill that will put people back to work all across the country," Obama said. "This is the bill that Congress needs to pass. ... No games, no politics, no delays."

What are your thoughts on the jobs bill? Do you think congress will work with Obama or have you lost all faith in politics saving us from facing another great depression?

You can catch President Obama tonight on BET at 7:30 PM where he will answer Black America.

Frankie & the "Frankie Leg"

Why lord? I saw this video and had to shake my head. Frankie has been MIA the last few months but she's back with a new dance called the Frankie Leg. Yep, you heard right, the Frankie Leg! I am sure this will be a hit somewhat like her infamous "Man Down Code 10"  catch phrase. Whatever the case may be Frankie seems to be sober and healthy which is a plus in my book.

Check out Frankie's moves!

Welcome Back RHOA

The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back! With a new season kicking off November 6, the ladies are gearing up to claim Bravo's # 1 spot with a drama filled season that's sure to please. Will you be tuning in to see the catfights and hair pulling as only the Atlanta crew can do best? As much as I hate to admit it this show is truly my guilty pleasure so I will definitely be tuning in.

Catch the RHOA on Bravo starting November 6!

Monday Blues

Another Sunday night with the Monday Blues. It's typical and almost inevitable that I feel this way. Hey, it happens every Sunday like clock work. Dreading the big day ahead and what the week will hold. My week normally consist of focusing solely on 4:45pm Friday afternoon when I can call it quits. Not good as outside of my "Friday focus", life's a big blur. I truly sabotage myself every Sunday. I sleep like I won't be able to sleep again for days. ALL DAY! This feels good until Sunday night when I am wide awake and can't fall asleep to save my life. No wonder I'm a zombie every Monday! Well I've done a little research & thought about personal ways to shake these blues. Something has to be done because Mondays surely aren't going anywhere!

My spin on tips that stood out on shaking the Monday Blues:

1. Usually on Mondays we tend to hit the snooze button at least 5 times before making an effort to truly get out of bed. We just can't believe the weekend is over and another Monday has arrived. By the time reality sets in and we make an effort to get out of bed we're late and already off to a bad start. Try to avoid the snooze button. Tough it out and get out of bed and to work on time! There's something about being on time that's motivation in itself. Make an effort to start your toughest day of the week with your best foot forward.

2. Another horror about Mondays that has everyone singing the blues is the anticipation of what's on your desk at work to be done. I know, I am guilty. As I lay in bed Sunday night too rested to sleep all I can imagine is what's there to be done and it makes me cringe even more at the thought of getting started. A way to fix this could be finishing your toughest task on Fridays. It's pretty hard to ruin a Friday so use this day to work your fingers to the bone to help your Monday run a little smoother.

3.Plan something special or out of the ordinary for Monday after work or plan treat yourself to a nice lunch. Sometimes the thought of looking forward to an event or outing is enough to keep your mind off of the negative and more so on the positive plans you have in store.

4.Try to associate with positive people. I know. This may be tough. There is nothing more irritating than getting to work with Monday Blues and there's this happy go lucky co worker sitting beside you smiling, laughing and happy as can be. While this may seem like torture, it's truly the kind of motivation we need. Smile more, laugh more and before you know it you've convinced yourself that Mondays aren't as bad as they seem.

5. Last but not least: My love of music is truly everything to me. I have noticed that listening to my favorite song(s) is the best way to shake any bad feeling be it Monday or any other day of the week. Keep that Ipod powered up and listen to your favorite jams. Make a Monday soundtrack full of songs that make you feel good and motivated to take on anything.

A friend shared the below affirmation with me a few months ago and even though we don't always take advantage of what a new day brings its important to realize the power we have day in and day out to make our lives what we want them to be.

" You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today's the day. Say it; This is going to be my day". -Brendon Burchard

Have a wonderful Monday!

The Start of Something New!

Hi Everyone! It's truly been a long time coming. My name is Melanie and I have aspired to start a blog for a very long time. Laziness and procrastination kept me at bay but it's finally here. I have so much to say and share with you and I hope to inspire and spread a little love & happiness throughout our days together. This blog will be unique as it's all things me. Not to be selfish, you will be included too :) but if you know me you know the many thoughts that cross my mind on a daily basis from music, love & relationships,  politics, religion, celeb lifestyles to just plain old everyday life and living. I'm fresh into this so please be patient with me. I hope you enjoy what I have to say and take a ride on this journey of "blog- life" with me! Until next time, peace & love.

Thanks to Bennetta, Tremayne and my lovely husband Dwayne for all the inspiration behind starting this blog. I couldn't have done it without you guys!